


Forget-Me-Nots And Marigolds

by Sokaja



Category: Persona 4
Genre: Gen, Hurt/No Comfort, does it qualify as, maybe? - Freeform, projecting onto characters? It's more likely than you think, so yeah it's gonna be angsty, this is literally a vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-12
Updated: 2020-05-12
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:42:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24141517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sokaja/pseuds/Sokaja
Summary: In hindsight, Yosuke should've seen everything coming from miles away.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9





	Forget-Me-Nots And Marigolds

**Author's Note:**

> So I felt bad and really needed to get this out. Sorry Yosuke, but you seemed to be perfect for this job. 
> 
> And for anyone wondering, the title is taken from Motion City Soundtrack's L.G FUAD, mostly because I listened to it on loop while writing it.

The first time Yosuke noticed anything was off was during his shift at Junes. Between scrambling to manage to cash register, restocking the shelves and cleaning up the occasional slip up of a customer, Yosuke only had very little time to himself. So, when he finally earned his well-deserved break, it was a pleasant surprise to spot all his friends hanging around at the food court. From the looks of it, they seemed to be here for quite a while, judging by the greasy food wrappers scattered around on the table. Even Teddie was lounging around - even though the teen _was_ pretty sure that the mascot was still supposed to be on the clock. Still happy about the company though, Yosuke raised his hand to wave and great them - stopping abruptly in his tracks as soon as he got into earshot. Their voices, albeit still relatively far away, suddenly became too loud, too piercing. 

  


“So, are we all ready?”

“We’re all here, aren’t we? Whadda we waitin’ for?”

“I’ve been looking forward to this for weeks, senpai~!”

“I agree. The movie is only two days out and already has stellar reviews - I’m curious to see it for myself.”

  


Yosuke felt a sudden sting in his chest, as he quickly retracted his hand and retreated backwards into the inside of the store, through the employees only section, into the bathroom. His heart was pounding uncomfortably in his chest, his head swirling and vision going blurry; hands gripping the cold porcelain as Yosuke tried to steady himself over the sink. 

Closing his eyes, he was still able to hear the happy chattering of his friends, excited about a cinema trip to Okina. A trip Yosuke had no idea existed in the first place. A quick check of the group chat proved that he wasn’t at fault; this trip wasn’t mentioned there either. He was never asked, they never planned to include him. This wasn’t just a simple whim of the moment that Yosuke would’ve been able to understand, no, they didn’t want to have Yosuke around, plain and simple. 

And, almost as if on cue, a voice in his head started to laugh, overshadowing the sound of Yukiko’s laugh in his memory, causing a shiver to run down his spine, just like back then, in the TV world, in the twisted version of the liquor store. 

“T _hey don’t need you_ ”, his shadow seemed to mock him in his head. 

“B _ut they were just hanging out"_ , Yosuke still tried to argue, despite everything. “ _It’s not their fault I have to work at Junes right now!_ ”

His other self however, didn’t buy that one bit. “A _ren’t you the naive one?"_ It laughs, it’s that terrible laugh again. “ _You’re the one who oh-so-desperately clung to them_ \- to him - _thinking that ‘this time, it will all be different, this time, I won’t be left behind!’ But look around, open your eyes. They obviously had discussed it beforehand - and did they ask you about your free times? Did they_ really _care about you? But, really - do you have anyone to blame on this beside yourself?_ ”

And this time, different from the liquor store, Yosuke didn’t have the heart to deny it. 

  


He didn’t come back to work that day, only calling his dad to inform him that he _ate_ _something bad, became sick, haha, you know me!_ And if anyone were to point out his puffy cheeks or red eyes, well, that’s just how you look like after throwing up, right?

  


* * *

The following days started to become to be even harder to bear. Not wanting to face the rest of the Investigation Team, he took on tons of shifts at Junes, letting him no room for his thoughts to drift. Because when they did, he thought about his friends - _or was it ex-friends now?_ And when he finally came home exhausted, he only fell into bed, ignoring Teddie’s bored whining, immediately falling asleep. 

That didn’t stop the nightmares from coming, though. Every day, Yosuke woke up, the sound of his other self laughing, the piercing stare of his golden eyes fresh on his mind. 

* * *

As much as Yosuke wanted it to, he couldn’t ignore his phone forever. Which is why after Yu called him for the fifth time that day, asking if he’s free next week to go train in the TV world together, Yosuke finally agreed. _He may not be liked, but he’s still needed in the team, right?_

  


“Y _ou dumbass._ ” His shadow was mocking him again as he sat around the exit to the TV world, lazily playing around with the handle of his weapons, trying to pass the time. 

“Y _ou’re really like a lapdog, running around, shaking your paw and begging on every oh-so-dumb-command, thinking you’d get a treat, right? Thinking that_ he _would appreciate you, because ‘he’s my partner, so he’s_ got _to be different!’ Grow up._ ”

Yosuke only gripped the handle harder, not able to respond. Jiraiya was right. As much of an asshole that his Persona was - was it even still his Persona, or did Yosuke finally fuck that up, too? - but Yosuke did only come here because of Yu. After all, they were best friends, Partners. Yosuke was supposed to be his second-in-command, and so much more - at least, this is what Yosuke thought. 

It was like a punch to the guts as they arrived and Yu only turned around, telling him he’d be switching him out with Naoto for the time being. Naoto’s got some new strategies that she’s thought out. Strategies she’d told him about the last they all hung out, which was just another meeting without Yosuke. And Yosuke, the fool that he was, only laughed and patted Yu on the back, congratulating him on such smart friends, because that’s what friends do, right? 

And so, Yosuke was stuck out there, sitting a small distance away from Rise, Chie and Teddie. Not that Jiraiya would leave him alone, though. 

“L _ook at it from this perspective_ ”, it started to talk again. “ _Kanji’s with him, because he can hit hard, just like Chie. Yukiko is here to provide healing, Rise is overseeing everything, Teddie has the necessary knowledge about the Shadow World, and Naoto’s just overall super smart. It only makes sense_ he’d _only surround himself with helpful people. You want to be on the team, you gotta be useful. What can_ you _bring to the table, Junes boy?”_

Yosuke’s grip on his kunai slipped, his palm grazing the blade, drawing blood. 

“Nothing”, he mutters.

* * *

He had a fight with Kanji. He didn’t mean to, but it still happened. It wasn’t a big fight, luckily, without any physical violence, but the damage was still done. 

They were in the TV world again, with Yosuke confined to the sidelines, yet again. This time, Chie and Kanji stayed behind with him; Yosuke didn’t even listen to Yu’s reasoning for this, instead choosing to sulk in his corner. Again, his shadow was taunting him for still coming out here, souring his already bad mood. 

And Kanji, good ol’ Kanji, noticed. And, as any good friend, he reached out, wanting to know what’s wrong. Yosuke wasn’t a good senpai though, immediately lashing out at the younger teen. Everything went by like a blur - Yosuke couldn’t even remember what it was that he’d said, only knew that it was hurtful - he remembers Kanji stopping, eyes going wide before he clenched his fists, demanding that Yosuke would repeat what he’s just said. And Yosuke did, his voice getting gradually louder in the process. And then Chie barged in, asking if _Yosuke’s lost his mind_ and _how could he dare something like that, is he an idiot?_

Shaking, Yosuke could only stare at the two of them, teamed up against him. This was it, Yosuke realized. Everything was leading up to this. It only made sense - if they don’t want him in their friend group, they’d also wouldn’t want him around in their team. 

“T _hey’re cowards for not voicing it_ ”, his shadow agreed. “ _But you know better now, right?_ ”

Yosuke did. And so, Yosuke turned around wordlessly, reaching out to the exit. He didn’t wait for the others to react, quickly stepping through. The orange rimmed glasses fell gracelessly to the floor.

  


Yosuke was a fool to think he’d be left alone just because he was out, though. As soon as his feet landed safely on the other side, a cheerful voice rang out, louder than the dull store jingle. 

“Yosuke-nii!”, excited, Nanako jumped up to him. “Are you also visiting Junes? You’re with Big Bro, right? He told me he would meet you and the others!”

Yosuke clenched his fist. Every other time, he’d know what to say. Every other time, Yosuke’d be in a different headspace. Because Nanako, sweet, innocent Nanako, she didn’t deserve this. She just wanted to see her Big Bro’s friends, she didn't know any better - 

But luck wasn’t on his side, and so Yosuke snapped at that innocent little girl, telling her that _he doesn’t know nor does he care where Yu and the others are, so if she could_ please _let him go, because he’s too busy-_

Yosuke didn’t stay long enough to hear Nanako softly tear up, calling after him. Nor did he hear Dojima rushing to his now distraught daughter. He didn’t want to hear how disappointing Yosuke was, how cruel he was to break a little girl’s heart like that - Yosuke already knew that. 

“S _he hates you now._ ”, Jiraiya agreed. “ _Dojima, too. But you don’t deserve anything different, right? They should’ve seen it coming, what else can you expect from Yosuke Hanamura, Fuck Up Extraordinaire?_ ”

And Yosuke knew that. This is how things were supposed to go. People come, Yosuke opens his big dumb mouth, people leave. Wasn’t that the reason his old friends in the city left him behind at the first chance they got? Wasn’t that the reason Saki-Senpai got fed up with his shit? Wasn’t that the reason for all his titles, wasn’t it the reason why this whole damn town hated him?

* * *

Once upon a time, Yosuke would consider Yu’s persistence as a commendable trait, fit for a leader. Now? He only wants to be left in peace. After the event in the TV world - and Nanako - his phone has been blowing up in a constant pace of two messages every hour. Yosuke read none of those, finally resorting to turning his phone on silent. Then, Yu tried delivering his messages through Teddie. Luckily, Teddie seemed to get _Yosuke’s_ message of not getting into his personal bubble, deciding to hang out with Yosuke’s parents downstairs instead. Probably because the poor boy seemed to be scared of Yosuke lashing out at him like he did before. 

Again, this was exactly what Yosuke deserved. 

Yu still didn’t let go, though. After days of managing to evade the silver haired teen, Yosuke’s luck finally run out as he was hiding in the corner of the floodplains. Almost as if he were trying to ambush an enemy shadow, Yu jumped seemingly out of nowhere, reaching out to Yosuke. And while the teen was faster than Yu, the times they’d spend together taught Yu how to predict Yosuke’s movements. In the span of a few seconds, Yu had a tight grip on both of Yosuke’s arms, not planning to let go anytime soon.

“Do you finally mind telling me”, Yu began to speak, his normally calm and stoic demeanor faltering, “what _the fuck_ is wrong with you lately?”

Yosuke flinched. Yu _never_ swore. 

“I’ve been _trying_ to figure out what’s going on _for weeks_ . First you don’t answer my texts, my calls - and now you’re just throwing tantrums and you- _Nanako_ -” Yu’s fingers gripped his arms tighter, surely leaving bruises. He was shaking now, obviously rattled by everything. “Nanako has been crying for the entire night.”

Yosuke only responded with a dry laugh, staring down at Yu.

“So that’s how it is, right? Everything is my fault now? _Blame the Prince of Disappointment, he won’t mind!_ Because _nobody_ asks me about anything, right?”

“Yosuke, what are you on about-”

“Don’t think I didn’t notice everything that was going on, _Partner_ . Or can I even call you that anymore? Maybe I should go back to _Narukami_ , instead? Because isn’t that what we are? You’re Mr. Perfect that everybody swoons over, and I’m just- the byproduct of the fucking city.” His voice cracks, his entire body shaking with anger now.

With great strength, Yosuke yanked his arms free from Yu’s iron grip, taking a few steps backwards. Yu didn’t try to do anything against it, his arms falling uselessly to his sides, his face a mixture of confusion, grief, anger. Yosuke took it as a signal. Yu was done, he wasn't saying anything. He wasn't here to check up on Yosuke, to see how he's doing. No, he was here because he wanted Yosuke to apologize, so he could continue his dumb agenda of helping everyone, no matter if they wanted it or not.

Not saying anything more, Yosuke wordlessly took his bike that was leaning against a tree, pedaling out into the road. 

* * *

It was only when Yosuke came back home from his Junes shift that he found a small package on his doorstep. Upon closer inspection this package had neither a sender nor a recipient as usual, the only thing he’s found was his own name, written in a very fancy – very known – handwriting. Yosuke didn’t wait until going inside to open it, instead choosing to rip it open right at the doorstep.

Inside was only a small letter:

“ _If you want to act like this, then go ahead._ ”

Underneath the letter, Yosuke found an unopened package of bandages.

* * *

This evening, Yosuke was laying on his bed, his music blaring so loudly that every normal person would’ve gone deaf by now. The teen didn’t particularly care about it, however, his attention focussed on his phone he held in one hand, the other still tightly clutched the bandages. To his big surprise, during all this time, Jiraiya stayed silent inside his head.

  


| **To: Narukami, Yu, 9:30 pm**

_Figures_.

  


| **To: Narukami, Yu, 9:30 pm**

_To treat the guy you once found in trash like trash._

  


| **To: Narukami, Yu, 9:31 pm**

_Next time, do me a favour and just don't bother._

  


| **To: #+81 xxxxxxx, 9:40 pm**

[Automated Message - Do Not Respond]

_Number successfully blocked._


End file.
